I Can’t Get No Sleep…

For some silly reason I decided to have a C4 energy drink around 6pm because I wanted to have a productive night of doing something other than cooking and cleaning around the house - which I had already done all day. I’m not sure if anyone else experiences this, but for some reason I don’t feel productive unless I did stuff that I actually wanted to do for myself. About halfway through the energy drink I gave myself an imaginary slap across the face. Nothing like drinking caffeine studded with nootropics after a certain hour and realizing how much of an idiotic move it was after the fact.

My quarantine vice seems to be my increase in consumption of caffeine by an order of magnitude. Am I the only weirdo that has been drinking way more caffeine than usual? Maybe I’m subconsciously trying to keep my kind from being bored by keeping it wired at all times.

Closing out the night with Maceo Plex’s remix of Insomnia seems fitting.

Playing Catch-Up

Embarrassingly enough I broke my promise to write every day literally the day after my last post. So now that it’s Friday, I can refocus my efforts and catch up on the lack of posting. I had been so busy throughout the daytime this week that when I finally got the time to sit down each night I would think about what I wanted to write about for so long that I would fall asleep. Next thing I knew the sun would be rising. Whoopsies. Funny enough this is also the third time I’ve re-written this post. I think I need to think a little less when it comes to blogging.

This week was the first time during this quarantine where I really felt desperate for social interaction. So much so that I started to have vivid dreams about partying with my friends that felt so unbelievably real - almost like the opposite of a night terror. One dream in particular I was at Berghain having the time of my life, then to my dismay my alarm blared in my ear and I woke up to my dog snoring at the foot of my bed. While partying has taken a bit of a back seat in my life over the last year, I plan to get some partying out of my system when things start to kind of return to normal. Being realistic, things won’t ever return back to the way they were before…I’ll develop my thoughts on that a little more before discussing it further in a future post.

At this point I’ve lost sense of time and I’m getting my days mixed up. I’m sure everyone else is experiencing something similar. Now would be good time to figure out a way to break up the monotony of the week through some goal setting and maybe a reward system? I’ll let you all know what I figure out as I’ve been in a bit of a mental rut this past week.

Gonna cut this post short since it’s Friday and I’m currently rudely ignoring my friends on Zoom.

That was a nice 3 month trial, where's my refund?

Damn, 2020 has been a real shit show. I think at the beginning of this year a lot of us thought this would be our best year yet…PSYCH! Well actually, let’s look at it this way with the half glass full...maybe it can still be our best year yet for personal development.

My aunt called me up one morning a couple of weeks ago and told me that I really have a talent for writing and should be blogging daily. I sat on that for a bit…clearly, but after much thought, I think blogging on a continual basis will be a good form of therapy to feed my extroverted soul. Who knows, maybe I’ll even bug my friends a little less with my rants. P.S. If you’re one of my friends that’s reading this, this is the part where you laugh cause you all know I’m the shining example of the memes going around about checking on your extroverted friends. This is my written commitment to go full 90s kid Xanga blogger style on y’all. Otherwise known as my raw, unrefined, and unapologetic word vomit on the internet.

Right now I’m sitting here at my parents house with my anxiety-ridden 14 year lab while dusting off my blog site and reflecting on my previous post about all the things that were gonna change for me in 2020. Surprisingly, a lot of those changes have been realized already! Even if a majority of those changes came naturally as a result of the quarantine, I’m still pretty pleased with my progress. I will say the one change that isn’t quite happening is boycotting drinking, but I’m not gonna be hard on myself about it. I’ve reserved drinking to once a week as a form of celebration. And I’ll be damned if making it through a week of solitude as an extreme extrovert isn’t something to celebrate about with your friends around the world over a Zoom Happy Hour.

So what have I been doing during quarantine? Well…I’m that person that has too many hobbies, so as you can imagine I haven’t been short of things to do. Here’s a list of skills/hobbies I’ve been working if you’re looking for ideas:

• Mixing/DJ’ing

• Building a fashion brand

• Fashion design, materials selection, and manufacturing

• Plant-based cooking

• Options Trading

• Yoga

• Writing (well duh)

I have a few other things queued up that I would like to work on, but I’m gonna pump the brakes on those for now while I focus on (some kind of) mastery of these things.

In closing, this is a really interesting and difficult time for many. I know for a lot of people it’s scary for them to be alone with their own thoughts for such an extended period of time, but I assure you once you overcome that fear you’ll be gifted with one of the most amazing periods of self-discovery in your life.

Stay safe out there my fellow humans, and hopefully you’ll find some entertainment while following me along on my writing journey.

What Is Your Legacy?

I wrote this on Monday night after landing from my flight to SFO to JFK. And then I sat on it to make sure it said what I wanted it to say. I haven’t changed anything, this is a pretty unadulterated piece. No photos, just raw words - the way I want it to be.

So, without further adieu…

I just came off the mountain full of endorphins and sat down to eat some lunch when my friend broke the news that Kobe died. I had to stop eating for a second. I didn’t know what to think, but then I thought a lot (we’ll get to this a little later). It was a painful reminder that literally anything can disappear from one second to the other, often times without warning. 

I remember as a kid watching more Lakers games than I had any other team. I wasn’t a Lakers fan by any means, let alone much of a basketball fan, but those championship games were in the background of my life year after year. Kobe was a household name. We all watched him grow up for more than 20 years on the screen and in the news multiple times a week. We got a peek into his life both on and off the court. Because of his prevalence in pop culture and sports, he was like the guy that you knew of in school but never talked to.

I became a sneaker head in the last year or so, and while I don’t buy basketball shoes I always saw Kobe’s shoes up on the SNKRS app week after week. If you aren’t aware, to have Nike create a silhouette with your name on it, you have to be pretty darn legendary. As a side note, if you are a sneaker reseller trying to make a quick buck off of his death, you are complete and utter trash. I commend Nike and other stores for pulling the product off their shelves for the time being.

We see death in the news every day, but Kobe’s death specifically is a reminder about just how much impact one person’s life can have on others. Obviously the magnitude of his death is massive compared to the average person or even any other celebrity, but it just goes to show that even the smallest interaction between two individuals can mean a lot. I watched a number of video interviews of those close and not close too Kobe. Some who had only exchanged a few words with him or shared the court with him, but still had so many words to say about what they meant to him. The entire NBA was in shambles. Even if a player didn’t know him personally, they felt the pain of those that did surrounding them. When we think about how our actions affect others, we only think about our immediate circle, but it’s really affects so much more beyond that. This is something we got to see on screen and internet these past few days, but this type of thing is happening on a smaller scale every time tragedy occurs. And that is what went through my mind the day Kobe died.

Life is so damn precious. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow to find out that a friend has passed. But if and when that happens, I want to know that the last interaction we had was meaningful. A majority of us aren’t looking to leave behind a legacy like Kobe, but it’s still important to treat every moment of your life like a gift and be grateful for the moments you get to share with others. Every second of every day we are making some sort of imprint on this earth and the people that are on it. Even the smallest exchanges we have with someone cause a ripple effect. This makes me wonder, what kind of legacy am I leaving behind at this very moment? I think it’s a good exercise to ask yourself that from time to time. Your legacy doesn’t have to be grand, but hopefully it puts a smile on someone’s face.

On Sunday, 9 people died in a helicopter crash. On Sunday, 9 people’s friends and families were struck with tragedy. On Sunday, anyone who ever even knew of one of those 9 people were paralyzed with sadness. I don’t want to be grim, but that one day will come for us and our loved ones whether it be expected or unexpected. Let this be a reminder that every one of our actions impact those around us and that our legacy (good or bad) will be remembered forever.

So with that, be kind to one another. Check on your loved ones when you can. And always end things on a positive note with one another because wishing you would have done or said something else could be a feeling that lasts forever.

Rest in peace Kobe, Gianna, John, Keri, Alyssa, Christina, Ara, Sarah, Payton, and to all of those passing each moment of every day. You will be remembered, not forgotten.

Alive And Thriving

Apologies, I know, I’ve been terrible at keeping this thing up. I was so gung-ho about having this blog that I was going to consistently post on, and then I completely stopped. However, in my defense I’ve been incredibly busy. All my “hobbies” really came to a halt about halfway through last year once the reality of owning a business set in. I also had to move unexpectedly, which really threw a wrench in things. But at least I found a spot in my favorite place in SF and got to return back to the Mission District (see below picture of my next door neighbor). So here I am in the new year trying to make time for picking up my camera again and sitting down to hone in on my writing skills from time to time.

Dolores Park | San Francisco, CA

My 2019 Recap

I must say, 2019 was the best year of my life. I got to close out the decade with quite the bang. I met so many lovely individuals and continued to strengthen my relationships with the friends I already had. I lived a crazy double life between SF and NYC. I got to clash the worlds of SF and NYC together a few times through multiple events. I learned so much about myself and how to be a better person to both myself and my peers. I could go off and talk about everything I did in 2019, but I think there is enough of it captured in pictures on my IG, so feel free to check that out @therealcarlzz.

The major thing that I am taking away from 2019 is that the answer to FOMO isn’t necessarily trying to do everything you possibly can, because if you do, then you’re going to burn yourself out pretty damn quickly. I am fortunate enough now to say that after working a lot on myself and prioritizing taking care of my physical and mental health, the burnout I had this year was merely a hiccup in the obstacle course of life. Right around Fall I was starting to become very exhausted with travel, work, and trying to please every person in my path. A few weekends staying indoors at home to rest and just veg out by myself, really helped me recalibrate my energy and allowed me to stop having FOMO I felt I needed to tend to. I’ve never been much of a TV person, but I finally have come to appreciate the art of zoning out and binge watching Netflix or Disney+ every once in a while. Your mind and your body are so precious, and I now have learned to give it the break it deserves.

What’s new for 2020?

This is my decade to shine, and to get the ball rolling I’ve decided to shake up my life a bit via the following:

1. The Death of US Music Festivals: I’m (mostly) quitting US music festivals. At this point I’ve been there, done that, and don’t need to see the same thing over again. I had my first experience with an international music festival last year and oh boy…what a game changer that was. I felt like I was going to my very first festival ever all over again. If you know me, this is quite a big deal. Sometimes I was hitting the circuit so hard that I was at a festival every 1-2 months. In case you haven’t noticed, all these lineups are starting to look the same.

2. Sustainable Eating: I’ve gone pescatarian (mostly) with the occasional meat cheat when the occasion calls for it. My rules with meat now are that it A) better be the best damn meat ever, and B) be locally sourced. I figure that if I’m going to care about the environment so much (if you know me, you’ll know that I’m a compost and recycling Nazi and I run a business that focuses on sustainable fashion), then I better start fully embracing it. I first tried cutting out a lot of meat products towards the end of 2019. Not only did it save me money, but it also made me way more conscious about the the stuff I’m putting in my body. Overall, I’m feeling a hell of a lot better and don’t even crave the bad crap I was ingesting before. Being a veggie head ain’t so hard after all. Also, as a bonus I get to lesson my impact on the environment.

3. Boycotting Drinking: Drinking never really brought anything good to my life other than hangovers, upset stomachs, and feeling incapacitated the day after. NYC in the last year turned me into a drinker, every event and social outing seems to be centered around drinks there. People LIVE for happy hour and bottomless mimosas. Never had I found myself craving drinks after work until I lived in NYC. To reset my body and mind, I haven’t taken a sip since the New Year and intend to carry that on for awhile. Who needs alcohol when there is good company anyways?

4. Less Commitments, More Time For Myself: I used to be the person that hated spending a single second of time with myself. I would pretty much be hanging out with someone from the minute I woke up to the minute I went to bed. I now realize how necessary it is to tune out the world from time to time and be able to live with just yourself in that very moment.

5. Self Care: I started this one last year, but every few weeks I try to add a new activity to my routine that is in the form of self care. My newest obsession is taking care of my skin. It may seem small, but it’s little things like this that make me feel better about myself at the end of the day. I’ve got some lofty goals for self care this year, so hopefully I’m able to knock them out of the park.

6. Getting Outta Town: This might not initially make senes since I already complain about traveling too much, but I really wanna focus rather on traveling to the right places. There’s so much beauty in this world to explore that it would be a shame to not take advantage of it. For me, that means spending less time in the city at my usual hangout spots, and replacing that with outdoors activities and traveling out of the country to experience new cultures.

7. Being Financially Smarter: No I don’t need the latest and greatest of everything, and no I don’t need an entire room’s worth of clothes. It’s time to actually start saving for larger purchases and cut back on the unnecessary things. It’s hard doing this while living in the bustling cities of SF and NYC and having the ability to Prime Now stuff to yourself within a 2-hours window, but I am up for the challenge. Running a business isn’t cheap, and I do want to retire someday…

8. Fruitful Relationships: I have an addictive personality to say the least, and sometimes I need to tame it down a few notches. In 2019 I spent so much time trying to foster deep, meaningful connections with everyone I met, that I was busy every second of my life and ultimately ended up with having a problem where I have too many friends (damn that sounds narcissistic, but it truly became an issue for me). Now the downside of having too many close friends is that people start depending on you for a lot, so you over exert yourself to avoid letting people down. Then when you decide to stop over-exerting yourself, you become that person that forgets to reply back to that text you received in the middle of the work day, and then have an epiphany about it a week later in the middle of a shower. With that being said, I’m learning to stop trying to be best friends with everyone, and instead nurturing the relationships I have with the people already in my life. I enjoy the friends I’ve got and want to keep them close to me.

So here’s to a new decade! I’ve done a lot of self-reflection, and have a lot to work on. I don’t have any particular agenda for this blog, or plan for the frequency of posting (though I will definitely be posting more frequently), other than to write about whatever is on my mind. Expect very random topics, kind of like my life.

Keeping Healthy On The Road And At Home

Maintaining a healthy lifestyle can be a struggle when at home, so imagine what it’s like always being on the road. In busy cities like SF and NYC that have amazing food available on every corner, people all too often fall into a trap of eating out constantly. It’s the easy thing to do. Oh how hard it is to resist a $6 lunch from one of the delicious halal trucks outside of my office in NY or having Caviar deliver me a Chicken Salad from Souvla Greek Style with Sour Cherry Froyo. I don’t know about you guys, but I feel absolutely miserable after eating out more than maybe a weekend’s worth of meals. Ultimately, there’s no way to control the ingredients and there’s a ton of hidden salt, fat, and sugar you don’t know about.

Working out also becomes a struggle on the road. Especially if you’re trying to maintain the same level of fitness you do at home, and fit it into your potentially even busier travel schedule. I for one was especially bad at sticking to a consistent schedule. I’ve had to remind myself that my fitness and health is a priority in my life over hitting up every happy hour I’m invited to.

Now, I’m no where near perfect (maybe the complete opposite of it to be honest), but I think I do a pretty good job at trying keep on top of my diet and exercise even when my life is turned upside down more than half the time…well at least of the weekdays. Everything in moderation you know. Below are some things that I stick to that you may want to get into yourselves.

1. A Green Smoothie A Day Keeps The Doctor Away

   This one is a little harder to do on the road, but if you’re willing to ditch your morning croissant and expensive Starbucks you can always find a juice or smoothie shop that can serve you up some greens. However, it’s important to know the ingredients that are going in your drink first, or else this can end up being laden with sugars from fruits (pineapple and banana are popular ones they tend to sneak in there) that aren’t that great for you. Reasons I drink this are twofold: 1) In case my veggie intake for the day isn’t great following breakfast, which happens a lot on the road, I already get a good amount in the morning, and 2) It’s a great way to kickstart the morning and gives you the energy you need. Here is my recipe for 2-3 servings (depending on how much you like to drink) of my morning smoothies. I like to make these at night and store them in mason jars so they’re ready for me in the morning.

   • 5oz Earthbound Power Greens (this mix makes things really easy, but it can be substituted with a blend of spinach, kale, and any other greens you like)

   • 3 Teaspoons of Spirulina (I use this brand, but any brand will do)

   • 1 Large Handful of Mixed Berries (fresh ones will taste better, but frozen does the job too)

   • 2 Tablespoons of Chia Seeds

   • 16oz Coconut Water (I like Taste Nirvana since it’s cheap and way better tasting than other brands, but you can use whatever you like)

2. Diet

   Like I said, this is a hard one to maintain while traveling and even at home when you’re on the go, but you shouldn’t let that discourage you. I try to keep almost all my breakfasts and lunches clean just in case dinner ends up not being so healthy. For breakfast, refer to my Green Smoothie recipe. I typically also add some protein like eggs or healthy grains if possible. With lunch, I have made it a point to find places around me that stock their menus with lean proteins and veggies packed with flavor. I also keep salad ingredients, fruits, yogurt, and other healthy snacks at work. Snacking can be your downfall, so lately I’ve stocked up on protein snacks that I’ve found on Amazon like these protein dorito-style chips and these crunchy cheese snacks. Typically your local health stores will keep a good stock of interesting ones as well. For dinners I regularly keep a fridge full of lean proteins, veggies, and healthy starches that don’t take long to cook so that I don’t have excuses to get lazy and order delivery. If you live in a state that has bad produce (like New York) stock up on good quality frozen veggies. Something I’ve found to be super helpful in terms of eating healthy is to buy high quality, local ingredients because they taste 1000% better. When your food tastes good, you won’t dread eating it (yes even that stuff you deem rabbit food will taste good).

   Don’t forget water! Aim for a half a gallon a day if you can. Something that I have found with traveling is that the climate change can be drastic. In cool/warm, dry places I have no trouble remembering to drink my water, because I’m literally dehydrated and waking up in the middle of the night hacking up a lung. But when it’s cold/cool and humid, I often forget to hydrate. Keeping a 24-32oz insulated water bottle on me at serves as a good reminder to drink my water. Nothing makes me feel more like a failure than realizing I haven’t refilled my water bottle even once by the end of the day. My personal favorite brand is Swell because they easily fit in the drink pocket of my backpack. Hydroflasks are also great, but the width of them is not so optimal for backpacks and often require you holding them in your hand (aka it’s a good way for me to accidentally leave it behind somewhere).

   Sometimes I really don’t have time to shop, so I have experimented with a ton of different meal delivery services. The ones I have found to be amazing and totally worth it are Methodology and Hungry Root. Both require some cooking, but your meals will always be ready in 3-5 minutes. What I really like about Methodology is that the menu changes every single week and you’ll get foods here that are local, exotic, and of restaurant quality. You can also mix and match your foods in case there are allergies you have or simply don’t like a certain ingredient. The founder who runs their Instagram is always offering a ton of health advice and food tips, much of which comes from her travels around the world to discover more about diets in other cultures. With Hungry Root, it’s an really great price point for fresh ingredients compared to other extremely expensive meal delivery services. They started out as a vegetarian-only, but have been adding proteins and a ton of new ingredients to their arsenal. What I like about Hungry Root is that you can also jazz up the dish to your liking by adding other stuff in your pantry/fridge.

3. Work Out Like It’s Summer Bod Season Everyday

   Getting the gym can be a struggle, but once you’re there and you finish your workout you feel amazing afterwards. Being on the road or being stressed out at work at home, this is one of the easiest routines to let slip in your life. Everyone has a time of day that works best for them, you just need to prioritize it and not make excuses. For me, I am not a morning person and my workouts in the morning are very subpar since my energy levels aren’t quite there yet until about 9:30am or so. I really like lunch workouts, because they re-energize you for the rest of your workday, but sometimes I don’t have the time to do that so after work typically works best for me. However, if you’ve got time for it I highly suggest you try this out. If I am doing my workout after work I will take my pre-workout so that I force myself into wanting to workout. It gives you that blast of energy you need to go hard in the gym. I use C4, which can be bought at Costco on the cheap. Fortunately, I have a gym built into my NYC apartment, however, there are a ton of other ways to continue working out without having access to a gym. One of my favorite things to do is use running to explore places in a city I may have not otherwise been able to. It’s pretty motivating, especially if it’s a beautiful day out with a picturesque view. So if where you’re staying at doesn’t have a gym or you don’t have the money for a membership, do this! I’ve also found a ton of classes that I deeply enjoy and typically have franchises around in most states. I’ve really come to love HIIT workouts like Barry’s Bootcamp when I’m in SF (which also happens to be in NYC), but I also use ClassPass when I’m in NYC to discover new places that aren’t in SF. If you’re really running strapped for time, a quick 2 mi run and a short ab circuit at home can keep you staying active as well.

4. Supplement Your Life

   I never used to take supplements cause I figured that I ate well enough to get everything I needed. I assure you, there are plenty of things you’re not getting enough of, and on the road your body is undergoing a lot of stress it’s not usually subjected to. Costco is probably your best friend in terms of price and quality. Quality of supplements is super important, so don’t chince out! Below are a list of supplements that I have found that keep my energy levels throughout the day steady and my body feeling as close to 100% as possible, and if you have stuff you take that you’ve found that helps, drop a comment in the post.

   • Fish Oil: Good source of Omega-3s and can help with that can aid in defending against heart disease and protecting brain function amongst a number of other things.

   • Turmeric: It’s an anti-inflammatory, adaptogen, antioxidant and even supports heart and brain health.

   • Magnesium: Contributes towards bone health and optimized calcium absorption, hearth health, improved digestion, and protection against diabetes.

   • Probiotics: Gut health. Nuff said. I use this brand but have also liked Culturelle in the past.

   • MCT Oil: Throw this in your morning coffee for an extra pep in your step. I have found that a tbsp of this a day really does wonders for energy, focus, and weight loss.

5. Sleep

   I am so bad about sleep, but having a good night’s sleep can really be a game changer. Try to get an ample amount in no matter where you are. I have found that a good sleep mask can help ease the eyes in addition to emulating complete darkness. I also carry CBD gummies or oils with me everywhere I go. Not only does it help ease body aches, but it serves as a great sleep aid by getting my mind to stop racing towards the end of the night. Something to remember is that CBD is not psychoactive, doesn’t show up on drugs tests, and the hemp derived version of it is legal everywhere now!

Now of course these are things that I have found help me in my day-to-day life, but everyone has different bodies, so it may take time for you to figure out what works best for you. Hopefully these tips have given you some new ideas you want to try out in your health routine.

Channel Your Inner Marie Kondo

I swear, I’ve been “Spring Cleaning” every couple of months ever since I moved to the Bay Area from AZ, and it truly shocks me how much shit I still have! Back in AZ I went from hoarding everything at my parents to hoarding everything at my first 900 sqft one bedroom apartment. I know, “One Bedroom” and “900 sqft” is unheard of for SF and NY - you’re probably wondering how I allowed myself to even own that much stuff. 

My mom is a minimalist, she’s never had much. However, everyone on my dad’s side of the family is/was a hoarder. Not sure if it’s genetic or something that is learned. My grandma (may she rest in peace) felt the need to buy two of everything. I remember cleaning her house after she passed and I was throwing stuff out that I swear I had already thrown out. And none of this stuff was useful. You don’t need 10 bottles of Windex at any given point in time living alone with occasional visitors. My dad is no different, he had multiple of the same or similar electronics and random gadgets. One of the worst hoarders of my family was my uncle. Pretty sure a cat died in his house and he didn’t find it until weeks later. 

I remember my first tendencies of hoarding (or what I used to refer to as “collecting”) started with Disney pins. You know those pins that people trade at the parks? I had 2-3 of each…you know, just in case. I also had a collection of Hard Rock shirts, band shirts, music memorabilia, school work, free stuff I got at events, and childhood memories (like a pair of Heelys, pogs, Jurassic Park action figures, you name it) that exploded out of my closet. Ultimately, I had an issue parting ways with things I never ever ever used, but kept because they were important to me at some point in time and I maybe even spent my hard earned dollars on. I have a feeling people a lot of people relate to this problem.

While I think the way Marie Kondo lives her life is a bit extreme, I do think that we all need to remind ourselves to declutter our lives every few months or so. Every time I do this I feel re-energized and inspired to be more productive. It helps clear my mind. In a thoughtfully organized and decluttered space my stress and anxiety levels go down, and I even sleep better knowing that I’m not living in chaotic mess. I think that having to live in NY half my time also was a wake up call to me realizing what was really important in my life. If it couldn’t fit in my carry-on and backpack, I probably don’t need it.

Below are some things I consistently do every time I’m back at my home base in SF to keep me feeling good about my space:

1. Sell Stuff: If you have trouble letting go of something because it has “value”, sell it! Over the last few months I’ve sold a few grand worth of things that again, were “important to me at some point in time”, but no longer served any purpose. For high value, easy to ship items, I suggest eBay. This is how I got rid of a ton of vinyl records from bands I no longer listened to, Pokémon cards, video games, CDs, music memorabilia, etc. As you can see, I got a good amount for things that were once considered junk in boxes. For furniture and other large items I use Nextdoor or Facebook Marketplace. You’re much more likely to get hits than Craigslist, which I see as a marketplace of the past that our parents used. Now, it is possible that Craigslist may be more optimal for cities in which these platforms aren’t used as heavily by an older population. From my experience I can usually get rid of things within a week. Be prepared for people to barter down the price anywhere from 75-90% of your asking price, so don’t expect to hit what you think the value of the item is. After all this person is also helping you remove the large item from your house and that means they also have to transport it on their own. Lastly, there’s clothes. We all have too many of them. Lately I’ve realized sometimes it’s good to let go of some of your favorites, because let’s be honest, you don’t need to be seen in the same sparkly jacket in every picture for 5 years straight. Load up a bag of stuff you are 90% sure will sell and take it to the ferocious buyers of second-hand stores like Buffalo Exchange, Wasteland, Crossroads, etc. Just to preface - if you don’t want it and it’s not “on trend” or “in-season” they likely don’t want it either. The stuff I try to sell to these stores are typically items that I have worn too much or don’t fit me anymore, but are still good pieces. You can also try selling online through sites like Poshmark, but if you’re trying to get rid of something quick this can become a burden as you continue to hold onto the stuff until it sells. 

2. Give Away Stuff: Sometimes you have stuff you need to get rid of, but simply no one will buy it. Nextdoor and Facebook Marketplace work wonders for this as you can post something for FREE and it’s likely someone will claim it within a week. I have also given much of my stuff away to friends I think can get better use out of it. For example, I have a friend who’s family and extended family doesn’t mind hand-me-downs. Every time I see him I give him a load of items that he can take to them.

3. Donate Stuff: The last resort I always use is donation. It seem counterintuitive, but in my case many of the donation centers in SF are often too full and it’s not exactly easy to lug around stuff in the city. The good thing about donating is that you can use it as a tax write-off if you manage to keep track of everything you donate. Recently I donated my car to Wheels For Wishes. If you can use public transportation, ride share, and car rental to get around, by all means do! Personally I was racking up a ton of tickets in SF and incurring more maintenance costs on my car than the car was worth. Plus, I barely drove the thing since parking was horrendous. My car had effectively became the car that all of my friends borrowed so that I could avoid parking tickets. Getting rid of this nuisance was the biggest “declutter” in my life I ever made. It makes me a lot happier that my car donation can go towards granting a kid’s wish.

The moment that you can tell yourself that memories do not have to be attached to objects, the practice of decluttering your life becomes easier and easier. Getting rid of these once “sentimental objects” in my life has allowed me to live more in the moment and appreciate the people around me.

Anxiety Is Not A Choice, But You Can Conquer It

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. I’ve had quite a few things going on in my life from work to travel to getting my new business up and running. It’s important for me to take a break from that and do something a little different like writing. Anxiety is something I’ve wanted to talk about for awhile. With my closest friends, as of recent, I have been very open about this lifelong issue I’ve battled. I think it gives good insight to why I am the way I am and why I act the way I act. If I’ve ever done something that was out of character for me, it’s probably cause it was, and I allowed my anxiety to control my actions. Another reason for this post is also because I’m sure others have encountered the same issues as me, maybe not quite to the degree I have, but can relate to some extent. It’s always nice to hear you are not alone and be able to see what may have helped others through their challenges. So let’s talk about what my brain goes through when at times I seem so put together on the outside.

Growing up I had so much social anxiety, that I would often not utter a word within a group of kids as I nervously fidgeted thinking about what I should say. There were so many “What ifs” going through my head that I allowed myself to believe that the better thing to do was to never speak what I was thinking. At least that way no one could judge me right? I was so afraid of what people would think of me, that my lack of association with others resulted in me not having a ton of friends, and the friendships that I had were often superficial or forced. For the few people I did become close with, anxiety crippled me in my interactions and relationships with them. When I didn’t perceive someone’s tone or response to me as particularly positive I would start going down a rabbit hole, making up stories in my head about how they were upset about something I did. At times, I would pry and ask them what was wrong, and ultimately, I would create problems that didn’t exist prior. This further cemented the idea in my head that nobody really liked me…not the best feeling for someone who’s constantly anxious right?

Anxiety fuckin sucks…and that’s something I came to realize as I got older, and hit me like a ton of bricks once I moved to The Bay. I moved there with virtually no friends, with the exception of a few that I knew from AZ, and felt incredibly lost and alone...even more than I had before. At that point, I knew that I had to conquer my fears associated with talking to new people and stop overthinking my interactions with those that I was starting to build a bond with.

It took me approximately 3 years to really get to a point where I felt I have control over this feeling, or at least know how to manage it. Here are the few things I’ve come to discover along the way:

• Stop thinking you don’t connect with anyone: Going up to a new friendly face, having a good conversation, and maybe even grabbing their contact info to time hang out with them in the future wasn’t as hard as I previously made it out to be. In fact, some of my best friendships have stemmed off of my spontaneity in social interactions.

• It’s okay to ask for help: Occasionally asking my friends for their help on a personal issue was often welcomed, not judged. It actually brought me a lot closer to many of my friends and helped build a stronger sense of trust between us.

• Diffusion is so important: Take the time to diffuse the bad thoughts that you associate with something, as you see yourself falling into a pattern of thinking. I found that things were a lot more fun, when I stopped worrying about what could go wrong and started thinking about what could go right. Yes I might fail 1/10 times, but those other 9 times feel pretty darn great.

• Meaningful interactions, lead to a happier life: A lot of my previous depression had been related to my lack of deep, meaningful interactions with the wonderful human beings around me. Being able to connect with people that were going through many of the same things I was made me feel not so alone.

I had a friend recently tell me, “You are the most extroverted person I know.” I’d like to think of it as I’m more of a forced extrovert that’s facing their fears head on. I still have anxiety to this day, but every day I tell myself to stop worrying about the potential bad outcomes that will probably never happen, and think about all the positive things that can and probably will.

If you’ve ever felt the way I do, don’t be afraid to talk about it with someone. You might surprise yourself.

5 Essentials to Travel With, According to Carl

As much as I love writing insightful posts on self-reflection and navigating through the storms of life, I’d also like to talk about things I’ve come to love. In particular, things that make my travels and life a little more pleasant. This will be the first of many posts around this topic, but I wanted to make sure the first one as gender neutral as possible, so feel free to read on boys. I’ll have other posts later on about specific brands that I’m keen to, but this is the basics list. Now there’s obviously other things I always travel with, but those will fit into other posts down the road. Without further adieu…

1. A Pair of Sweet, Comfy Kicks

   Having to walk around in shoes that hurt are a pain in the ass in your normal life at home, so why bring them on the road? While you’re at it also make sure they are dope, while still working with an array of outfits.

2. A Jacket That Makes a Statement

   Doesn’t it feel good when someone compliments you on your rad jacket. Let’s be real, an awesome jacket is what completes your outfit, not some piece of jewelry that you might end up losing. Just make sure that it goes with everything. Not too loud, not too boring, just right. Plus it also doubles as keeping you warm and toasty.

3. Electric Toothbrush

   Maybe it’s just me, but nothing starts my day off right like a really clean mouth, and electric toothbrushes always triumph over the regular ones for me. If you don’t have one, I suggest you invest now. Just make sure you leave home with it fully charged.

4. Your Favorite Hair Products

   I HATE THE FREEBIES IN HOTELS. My hair never feels right after I use them, and then I have a bad hair day. I can just cut straight to the chase my bringing my fav products on the road in travel sized containers. A lot of the time you can find mini sizes of the stuff you use as well. This applies for shampoo, conditioner, and styling/maintenance stuff. I suggest hitting Ulta or Sephora to stock up once in a while. If you’re a girl (or if you’re trying to bring the scene haircuts back as a guy), pack your straightener for those days when it needs a little touch up. Leave the hairdryer at home since hotels and AirBnBs almost always have them.

5. Face Products to Combat Break Outs

   If you’re a normal person like me, then you probably break out while traveling. Personally I have my face wash, night serum, makeup remover, and one disposable face mask always with me. Nothing ruins your day and glam shots like a massive pimple on your face that magically appeared on the plane. And guys, don’t act like you’re immune to a filthy face. They’ve got men’s face wash too.

6. Bonus: Throw some pain medication in your bag. You never know what hangover (I mean headache), bumps, or soreness may come over you.

Yes, I Have A Job

I often get asked what I do for a living because people are so used to me “living the life” on Instagram, always being on the move, or trying pack a million different events into the week. Well I’m here to tell you my life isn’t all gumdrops and rainbows. All the fun stuff I do is because I’m usually doing it on limited sleep or don’t give myself time to decompress and relax (hence me wanting to focus on practicing better consistency and persistence in self-care per my previous post). So let me tell you the story of where I came from to where I am now in my career.

I graduated with a degree in Biomedical Engineering from ASU in May 2013 and immediately started by first job as a Quality Engineer at Stryker in Tempe, AZ. I had no clue what I was doing, and at the time I was one of the youngest people at the entire company. Naturally, I was curious to learn so I worked a lot of 12-15 hour work days and latched onto every opportunity thrown at me. It landed me a in a lot of unique situations that allowed me to gain quite a few leadership skills, as well as attain a lot of accomplishment people in my career don’t get to say they until much later on in their lives. Now eventually, some younger folks closer to my age showed up at the office and we ended up having a really tight knit friend group, but I was still thirsty to get out of AZ. Fast forward 3 years, a manager from Stryker in San Jose, CA heard about me and asked me to join the team. While I was sad to leave what I thought was the best job and group of friends ever, I knew I needed growth (plus it was always my dream to live in CA).

I spent almost 2 years at the next job until I decided I wasn’t enjoying coming to work anymore, especially since I made it even harder on myself by living all the way in San Francisco. I really had this mentality that I was going to stay at Stryker forever, but ultimately I became depressed due to a bunch of factors that were against me with work. Why torture myself by commuting 3 hours a day for work to do something I didn’t want to do, and not get paid well for it on top of that? It took a great deal of will power when I felt guilty for wanting to leave a company that had done so much for me, but I started applying for new jobs. At first I thought, “Maybe I don’t even want to do medical device anymore, what about tech?” Well I found I found the perfect solution, a medical device company that specialized in AI and software. I nailed the interviews and was extended an offer, and even better, the office was located in SF!

Side note…for those who are seriously afraid to leave their jobs, don’t be. Take that leap of faith and always ask yourself if you are where you want to be in your career. For most people, your job is your home 8+ hrs a day. You better enjoy what you do, like your boss and co-workers (or at least be able to be friendly with them), and hopefully be respectfully paid. If at any point you’re not getting fulfillment in something that is of strong importance to you in a job, don’t feel bad about making the decision to leave. If your company truly cares about you, they will be happy for you. The day you start the next journey on your career path, you won’t even remember how stressful it was for you to make the decision to leave.

I spent the next year loving my work life at Arterys which was a convenient $4-10 Uber ride away from my house. I made close friends with a few of the people I worked with and was loving start-up life. For the first time in a while, I was getting to do things I wanted to do and was good at. Since my position transitioned from engineering to quality systems I learned a slew of new stuff while also getting acquainted with software (I had only worked on physical devices and capital equipment before). While I was at this job, I got to become one of the few people in the medical device industry that had experience creating FDA and EU compliant processes/product for Software As A Medical Device (SaMD). Again, I thought I was going to stay at this company for awhile since it was such a sweet deal, but soon everyone I grew to know and love at Arterys was either let go or left for a new job…I also was not a fan of my manager. At around my 1 year anniversary at Arterys, I had left to my current job.

So rewind to before I took the new gig. Now this company seemed pretty sketchy when I first received a LinkedIn email from a recruiter. The job was very similar to my last job, except it was advertised as 100% REMOTE. That’s like everyone’s dream, basically you can be wherever you want. Curious, I decided to respond to the recruiter. Turns out they were legit, and I really can’t say much about the specifics of this company in regards to the actual product because I’ve signed an NDA. To my dismay, apparently they had changed their mind about being 100% remote and wanted me in NY for at least 25% of my time. I figured, “Okay, I’ve always wanted to check out more of NY, I guess I can do 25% for now.” After I interviewed in NY, I immediately received an offer while I was boarding by plane back to SF, however, I was hit with another roadblock. They wanted me on-site at least 50% of the time, or even just completely move to NY if I was willing to. MY ENTIRE LIFE WAS IN SF. I have no family on the east coast, nor have I ever spent any amount of time there. California is warm, laidback, and beautiful, while NY is notorious for bad weather and a hectic, fast paced lifestyle. After much consideration, talking to my friends/family/mentors, and the company’s willingness to pay for my apartment here, I accepted the offer.

While I can’t disclose specifics about where I work and our products, this is what I can say. I am still in medical device software, however, in addition to my last job’s responsibilities, I also added Regulatory to my job title. This means I will be writing the 510(k) pre-market submissions for the FDA and compiling the Technical Files for EU CE Mark under their Medical Device Regulation. Additionally, I get to work on De Novo products (novel devices) with this company. Arterys was approaching 80 people when I left, and the new company is at 15, so…it’s a lot of work. Start-up life means long hours and filling the responsibility of roles you weren’t originally signed up for. The smaller the company, the faster I learn and achieve things. It’s hard to describe my job to someone, but in a nutshell it’s primarily ensuring that we are compliant with regulations and standards, but also doing everything else outside of my role that it takes to get a medical device to market. You can say that I’m on my way to becoming very well rounded in what is now a niche part of the medical device industry, but soon will be a huge part of it with AI really taking over the world.

Financial District | Manhattan, NY

My career journey has been a little crazy to say the least, but the one thing I can say is that it’s taught me to seize every opportunity I get. If I think something is the right decision, it probably is or I at least have it in my power to make it worth it. I know for a fact that this job will take me to the next step in not only my career, but also my life. Not many people get to say that they live truly bicoastal. I have my own place in both SF and NY, and have solid friend groups and an established life in both places as well. If anything, I’m becoming even more efficient with my life with all of the travel. It’s stressful, but enjoyable at the same time. And little by little, I’m learning how to live a balanced chaos.

Consistent Persistence

***NOTE: This post was originally written on January 5, 2019 on the way to Tokyo from Nagano.

It’s the start of my 3rd full season of snowboarding and I’m on the way back to Tokyo after having pushed past my limits on the board for 3 days in Hakuba. That also means that I smacked the icy hard snow numerous times (not everything is fun and powder). While that resulted in massive whiplash and an extremely sore body, it was well worth it because I can confidently say that my snowboarding skills improved in the following areas:

“Giant” at Cortina | Hakuba Valley, Japan | Photo By: Ian McCreery

1. Double Blacks: I was finally able conquer gigantic moguls sans a single spill having to resort to falling leaf noob stuff. If you’re not keen to mountain speak, a double black diamond is an expert level course and falling leaf is when you’re riding heel edge instead of carving (heel-toe).

2. Switch: I started to ride switch (my non-dominant side, which is goofy) for the first time. By the end of day 3 on the mountain I could get down steeper greens (beginner) and blues (intermediate) with an occasional fall. This skill is necessary for advancing in the park and mountain, being able to ride for longer periods of time, and just feeling really comfortable on your board in general.

3. Jumps: I can now consistently hit jumps (multiple in a row too) with solid landings and decent air. Next step will be to add grabs and shiftys, hopefully by the end of the season. A bonus would be to do a 180 if I’m able to master switch.

This was originally going to be a post about snowboarding, but since it’s dark outside and there’s nothing to look at I’m starting to think about what else I would like to accomplish this year. I came across this article, “Why Consistency And Persistence Are Two Vital Ingredients To Success,” where Tony Fahkry opens with a strong statement made by Thomas Carlyl on the subject, ‘Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.’ Honestly, there’s no way you can become great at anything if you’re not continuously executing on something and still doing it even in the face of adversity. I’m sure I’m speaking for more than myself when I say this, my level of skill in something is always directly proportional to the amount of time I invest into practicing and learning said skill. 

For a majority of my life I would consider myself a jack of all trades, master of none. I dabbled quit a bit in various interests, but never took the time to get really really good at something. Even down to my major in college, Biomedical Engineering, I still felt like I only knew the basics of the engineering and science disciplines by the the time I graduated. Something I’ve also become self-aware of is that I am often more successful in my accomplishments when I have a routine. Failing to have a consistent routine results in my mind wandering off in La La Land and forgetting to do the things I meant to get done, which then makes me discouraged the next day when I realize I’m behind on my goals for the week. 

To tie everything together, I would say snowboarding is the one thing that has taught me about how impactful the forces of consistency and persistence are. In the short amount of time I’ve been boarding, I would consider my skill level to be about equal to someone who has been boarding twice as long as I have. This alone has given me motivation to also exercise consistency and persistence in the following:

1. Photography: I picked this up 4 months ago out of necessity for my business (which I’ll talk about more in a later post). So far I’m really enjoying it, but I have so much to learn before I feel even confident saying I’m decent.

2. Writing: I’ve always sucked at it, but here I am writing this post to get better at effectively communicating my thoughts and ideas in a clear and concise way, that’s also not boring. I believe being a skilled and creative writer will help me immensely in all facets of my career.

3. Regulatory: So I’ve never actually been in regulatory in the medical device field, yet I somehow have it in my job title. I’ll be working with a couple mentors as well as attending workshops this year to try and master the art of regulatory. If I can do this, I can start seriously thinking about completely working for myself as a consultant in regulatory and quality.

4. Self-Care: I working on this a lot last year, but honestly, I could still use improvement in this area. Anyone who knows me knows that I am always on the go, running a million miles per hour. Instead of taking the time to read a book, write, meditate, or just go to sleep at a normal hour, I’m busy packing my schedule full of events and hanging out with friends. My bicoastal life and excessive travel has also resulted in a lackluster workout regime as of late. For me, being in shape is an essential part of being able to maintain high levels of energy and focus. I’ve learned over the past few months that taking time to myself is absolutely necessary to find peace and be less stressed in my chaotic life. In the end, even if I were to only focus on this one thing, reaching my other goals would be much easier.

After this bit of self-reflection, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s nice to be a jack of all trades in some scenarios, but not all. I’m going to be spending a lot of time honing in on the skills that I’m most passionate about to become a master of...some. 

NEW YEAR, NEW ME

New Years Resolutions are a funny thing. We wait until the beginning of the year to start something we probably already should have done, and then get demotivated somewhere about 3 -4 weeks in and stop doing what we set out to do. I like how the most popular resolution is to get in shape or lose weight. At the same time, this is exactly when the gyms are overcrowded and it’s entirely too cold outside in most parts of the world to even do anything active (especially if this is your first time working out in like forever). In the end, a New Years Resolution is just another way for us to continue our tendency to procrastinate or make excuses for why we aren’t getting things done. So that’s why I am writing this entry one day earlier than New Years Day in the US. ***NOTE: I wrote this on the first of the year, but with having to catch up with work I’m just now posting this along with a couple of other posts.

I want to end 2018 on a productive note. One should also note that I’m saying this as I’m sitting on a bullet train from Osaka to Tokyo drinking a tall boy of Asahi beer. However, it has been hard to be productive during down time as I got a sinus infection right before I hopped on the plane to Japan…convenient right? Well thank god for drug stores. Did you know that in Japan you are expected to work even if you are ill? That’s what all the face masks are for. It’s not a fashion accessory or a means of keeping pollution out of lungs, it’s literally being courteous to others of the germs you could be spreading, or trying to keep yourself away from germs. You’d understand if you’ve ever walked through some of the packed markets or been on trains here. There’s no room for personal space, so you’ll always be breathing someone else’s air. Something else I learned is that the over-the-counter medication in Japan is super freaking strong. The cold medication often has other additives in it like caffeine so that you are still alert even when you’re sick. SS-Bron, a popular cough syrup, is closely related to oxycodone. Eve A, a popular painkiller, also has caffeine and a sedative in it. So note to self, stock up on Japanese medication if you want to kick your colds fast. Anyways, I’m done with this tangent on Japanese over-the-counter meds for now.

I wanna talk about 2018. This was the year that I encountered the most important inflection point in my life. I was in an on-again off-again relationship that literally sucked the life out of my ex and I. I felt horrible, he felt horrible, a lot of damage was done to the both of us. If he’s reading this, I want to say I am sorry and wish we had ended things sooner. It’s hard letting your first love end, even when that’s the best thing to do. Additionally, a friendship ended with someone I had considered one of my best friends. And I actively destroyed my mental and physical well being through many bad decisions. I effectively spent the first half of 2018 being a shell of myself, and it wasn’t until I decided to stop making excuses and be exceptionally more proactive that I finally broke free from my destructive black hole and became a much better person, the person I was meant to be. Some of the things that had the most positive impacts on me this year included:

1. Leaving my comfortable life and job in SF to a start up in NY where I had to live there half time

2. Learning to embrace the beauty of life itself at Burning Man and other experiences

3. Stepping out of my comfort zone and making a lot of new friends in both NY and SF

4. Picking up new hobbies (i.e. photography) that involved at lot of time investment

5. Starting a business with two of my friends

6. Putting my mental and physical health first by going to therapy, ensuring I was eating healthy, and exercising more regularly

So what does 2019 have in store for me? I think a lot more than a failed New Years Resolution. Time will tell, let’s wait and see…