Alive And Thriving — A-BALANCED-CHAOS

Apologies, I know, I’ve been terrible at keeping this thing up. I was so gung-ho about having this blog that I was going to consistently post on, and then I completely stopped. However, in my defense I’ve been incredibly busy. All my “hobbies” really came to a halt about halfway through last year once the reality of owning a business set in. I also had to move unexpectedly, which really threw a wrench in things. But at least I found a spot in my favorite place in SF and got to return back to the Mission District (see below picture of my next door neighbor). So here I am in the new year trying to make time for picking up my camera again and sitting down to hone in on my writing skills from time to time.

My 2019 Recap

I must say, 2019 was the best year of my life. I got to close out the decade with quite the bang. I met so many lovely individuals and continued to strengthen my relationships with the friends I already had. I lived a crazy double life between SF and NYC. I got to clash the worlds of SF and NYC together a few times through multiple events. I learned so much about myself and how to be a better person to both myself and my peers. I could go off and talk about everything I did in 2019, but I think there is enough of it captured in pictures on my IG, so feel free to check that out @therealcarlzz.

The major thing that I am taking away from 2019 is that the answer to FOMO isn’t necessarily trying to do everything you possibly can, because if you do, then you’re going to burn yourself out pretty damn quickly. I am fortunate enough now to say that after working a lot on myself and prioritizing taking care of my physical and mental health, the burnout I had this year was merely a hiccup in the obstacle course of life. Right around Fall I was starting to become very exhausted with travel, work, and trying to please every person in my path. A few weekends staying indoors at home to rest and just veg out by myself, really helped me recalibrate my energy and allowed me to stop having FOMO I felt I needed to tend to. I’ve never been much of a TV person, but I finally have come to appreciate the art of zoning out and binge watching Netflix or Disney+ every once in a while. Your mind and your body are so precious, and I now have learned to give it the break it deserves.

What’s new for 2020?

This is my decade to shine, and to get the ball rolling I’ve decided to shake up my life a bit via the following:

The Death of US Music Festivals: I’m (mostly) quitting US music festivals. At this point I’ve been there, done that, and don’t need to see the same thing over again. I had my first experience with an international music festival last year and oh boy…what a game changer that was. I felt like I was going to my very first festival ever all over again. If you know me, this is quite a big deal. Sometimes I was hitting the circuit so hard that I was at a festival every 1-2 months. In case you haven’t noticed, all these lineups are starting to look the same.
Sustainable Eating: I’ve gone pescatarian (mostly) with the occasional meat cheat when the occasion calls for it. My rules with meat now are that it A) better be the best damn meat ever, and B) be locally sourced. I figure that if I’m going to care about the environment so much (if you know me, you’ll know that I’m a compost and recycling Nazi and I run a business that focuses on sustainable fashion), then I better start fully embracing it. I first tried cutting out a lot of meat products towards the end of 2019. Not only did it save me money, but it also made me way more conscious about the the stuff I’m putting in my body. Overall, I’m feeling a hell of a lot better and don’t even crave the bad crap I was ingesting before. Being a veggie head ain’t so hard after all. Also, as a bonus I get to lesson my impact on the environment.
Boycotting Drinking: Drinking never really brought anything good to my life other than hangovers, upset stomachs, and feeling incapacitated the day after. NYC in the last year turned me into a drinker, every event and social outing seems to be centered around drinks there. People LIVE for happy hour and bottomless mimosas. Never had I found myself craving drinks after work until I lived in NYC. To reset my body and mind, I haven’t taken a sip since the New Year and intend to carry that on for awhile. Who needs alcohol when there is good company anyways?
Less Commitments, More Time For Myself: I used to be the person that hated spending a single second of time with myself. I would pretty much be hanging out with someone from the minute I woke up to the minute I went to bed. I now realize how necessary it is to tune out the world from time to time and be able to live with just yourself in that very moment.
Self Care: I started this one last year, but every few weeks I try to add a new activity to my routine that is in the form of self care. My newest obsession is taking care of my skin. It may seem small, but it’s little things like this that make me feel better about myself at the end of the day. I’ve got some lofty goals for self care this year, so hopefully I’m able to knock them out of the park.
Getting Outta Town: This might not initially make senes since I already complain about traveling too much, but I really wanna focus rather on traveling to the right places. There’s so much beauty in this world to explore that it would be a shame to not take advantage of it. For me, that means spending less time in the city at my usual hangout spots, and replacing that with outdoors activities and traveling out of the country to experience new cultures.
Being Financially Smarter: No I don’t need the latest and greatest of everything, and no I don’t need an entire room’s worth of clothes. It’s time to actually start saving for larger purchases and cut back on the unnecessary things. It’s hard doing this while living in the bustling cities of SF and NYC and having the ability to Prime Now stuff to yourself within a 2-hours window, but I am up for the challenge. Running a business isn’t cheap, and I do want to retire someday…
Fruitful Relationships: I have an addictive personality to say the least, and sometimes I need to tame it down a few notches. In 2019 I spent so much time trying to foster deep, meaningful connections with everyone I met, that I was busy every second of my life and ultimately ended up with having a problem where I have too many friends (damn that sounds narcissistic, but it truly became an issue for me). Now the downside of having too many close friends is that people start depending on you for a lot, so you over exert yourself to avoid letting people down. Then when you decide to stop over-exerting yourself, you become that person that forgets to reply back to that text you received in the middle of the work day, and then have an epiphany about it a week later in the middle of a shower. With that being said, I’m learning to stop trying to be best friends with everyone, and instead nurturing the relationships I have with the people already in my life. I enjoy the friends I’ve got and want to keep them close to me.

So here’s to a new decade! I’ve done a lot of self-reflection, and have a lot to work on. I don’t have any particular agenda for this blog, or plan for the frequency of posting (though I will definitely be posting more frequently), other than to write about whatever is on my mind. Expect very random topics, kind of like my life.